Intuition

Why Asking The Right Question Matters

Competency: Agility
Attribute: Understanding
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    Introduction

    Benefits of Asking the Right Questions

    Communication is the foundation of every relationship, whether personal or professional. Yet, how often do we find ourselves frustrated or confused because we didn’t fully understand what someone wanted? The key to overcoming these challenges often lies in one simple but powerful tool: asking the right questions. When we ask thoughtful, clarifying questions, we open the door to deeper understanding, reduce the chances of miscommunication and build stronger connections with others. 

    • Fosters Deeper Understanding:
      Clarifying questions help uncover the full context of a conversation, allowing for a more accurate interpretation of what the other person means or needs.

    • Builds Trust and Connection:
      When people feel heard and understood, trust naturally grows, strengthening both personal and professional relationships.

    • Prevents Misunderstandings:
      By asking questions before making assumptions, we prevent potential misunderstandings that could lead to conflict, frustration or disappointment.

    • Encourages Open Dialogue:
      When we show a willingness to ask questions, we signal that we’re open to learning and understanding others, which encourages more honest and open conversations.

    • Enhances Problem-Solving:
      In work or group settings, asking the right questions can lead to better collaboration and more effective problem-solving by uncovering details that might otherwise be overlooked.

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    Self-Paced Coaching Questions

    Help You Ask the Right Questions

    Consider these questions:

    • Do you frequently make assumptions in conversations without seeking clarification?
    • When was the last time you felt confused about what someone wanted? How did you handle it?
    • How comfortable are you asking clarifying questions in difficult conversations?
    • Do you actively listen to others or wait for your turn to speak?

    These self-reflection questions encourage you to evaluate your communication habits, helping you identify whether you seek clarification and  handle confusion effectively.

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    Strategies

    Asking the Right Questions

    • Active Listening Before Questioning
      Before jumping in with a question, take the time to actively listen to what the other person is saying. Active listening involves giving your full attention to the speaker, not just hearing their words but also understanding the meaning behind them. Once you’ve listened fully, your questions will be more relevant and insightful.

    • Ask Open-Ended Questions
      Open-ended questions invite the other person to expand on their thoughts rather than just giving a yes or no answer. This encourages them to share more information, making it easier to understand their needs or desires. Examples of open-ended questions include "Can you tell me more about that?" or "What are your thoughts on how we should proceed?" 

    • Check for Understanding
      Once you’ve asked your questions, it's important to confirm that you’ve understood the answers correctly. You can do this by summarizing the key points and asking for confirmation. This helps both parties ensure they’re on the same page and reduces the risk of lingering confusion.

    Asking the right questions is a powerful way to bridge communication gaps, foster mutual understanding and build stronger relationships. By practicing active listening, using open-ended questions and confirming understanding, you can transform the quality of your interactions with others. Whether you're navigating a personal conversation or a workplace discussion, the ability to ask thoughtful, clarifying questions is a skill that will help you avoid misunderstandings and deepen your connections with those around you.

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    Bibliography

    This article has been inspired by the following sources: 

    • Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (2010). Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin Books.
    • Tannen, D. (1990). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. Ballantine Books.
    • Schein, E. H. (2013). Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.