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There are countless times we feel like throwing in the towel and giving up, but somehow, we usually persevere and move forward.
Sometimes, it is because we have nothing better to do. Other times, it’s because we are lucky enough to have someone who helps us see the light. Or, it could be that we dig deep and recover the pride, courage and energy that we need to keep going.
But, there can be moments where we push ourselves too hard. From time to time, we should look back and scrutinise these difficulties to determine what caused us to move forward. What was different about these particular points in our lives? What did we learn, and how did we grow?
This desire to improve is essential for our children with ADHD. They are very sensitive to mistakes, the ridicule of others and misunderstandings. These children experience many moments where they want to stop and not take another step. When we see this happening, it can crush the soul, and we can flounder about, unsure of how to help. We cannot afford to let these children stop progressing, but we may not know what to do.
I propose that we try to transform ourselves so that we are in a conscious state of mind, which involves adopting an attitude towards continuous improvement. This is vital for everyone, especially for those with ADHD and their family members.
To have a desire to improve is to strive to do things as well as possible. It is not about surpassing anyone but about becoming what each of us can be. It is a primary step for our talents to come to fruition.
The desire to improve is what leads us to triumph. People who fear failure usually do not try hard enough. We may witness this frequently in our children or even in ourselves. Instead of normalising this waste of effort, we should encourage children to push to see what they are capable of. We should also normalise failing and not celebrate failure but rather celebrate these opportunities for growth and learning.
In general, most kids are very talented or creative in many subjects, including sports, the arts, reading and writing and more. Perhaps we should take advantage of things children enjoy and show them they can give their best when self-motivation pushes them to improve.
If not, we can likely predict the results. They may do something half-heartedly and then decide to quit. This behaviour leads to a spiral of thinking. If nothing matters, why put forth the effort? If it’s ‘good enough’, why work harder? Does this pattern sound familiar?
So, what can we do when children get caught up in this cycle? I recommend offering new opportunities, including outings and activities until they fall in love. Let them find something to enjoy and be passionate about. They will feel understood, admired and appreciated. We should, too, by the way. Being open-minded and accepting can be difficult, not to mention the patience that is needed.
When children adopt the desire to excel, they will strive to do today what they could not achieve yesterday. We must show by example that mistakes happen and that we can still thrive even if things don’t work out exactly how we planned. Encouraging children to try for themselves and listen to their hearts makes all the difference in the world. Our motivation to achieve comes from the deepest corners of our being, but we must listen and be attuned to this voice.
Therefore, as the leaders of our families, we must be attentive and fulfil our work as facilitators of opportunities, encounters, surprises and dreams.
What are we going to do for them tomorrow that we haven’t done today?
This session is presented in Spanish (English subtitles will be available after the session).
Career economist and dedicated by vocation to the development of people as a Executive Coach and Trainer. 35 years working in a multinational company in the most diverse positions. Certified i4 Neuroleader Practitioner with Silvia Damiano and Coach in Brain Health with Doctor Daniel Amen. Married, with two children and a dog. I live in Madrid, Spain.